Friday, January 17, 2014

The Awakening

copyright-erin-leary
The white sun casts a light over the swamp.  The creatures are disturbed.  I creep into their dreams at night and the voices tell them what to do.  Leaving behind smells of rotting flesh, vomit, urine, and faeces.  Flavouring their flesh with fear.

How long have I waited for this moment?  Only two hundred years but it seems like an eternity.  Time enough for the fear to subside and the stories to pass into legend.  No more do the parents keep their children away from the river's edge.


The white sun restores me.  The harvest will be good this year.



**


Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100
 

18 comments :

  1. Anonymous10:43 pm

    Really chilling, and wonderfully written.

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it. Thanks Claire.

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  2. Anonymous2:21 am

    very chilling. i liked the narrator’s creepy voice.

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  3. Anonymous1:53 pm

    Fabulous story - and creepy too! WOW! Thanks, Nan

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  4. Anonymous3:51 pm

    Great build up to the evil to come....

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Erin I was hoping for that effect.

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  5. That was some kind of evilness.. that end chilled my spine

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  6. Anonymous11:28 pm

    love it. Atmospheric and moody.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Obed, glad you liked it.

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  7. Dear Subroto,

    "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."
    Well written and chilling.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks for the opportunity Rochelle

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  8. Anonymous2:13 pm

    You never know what's prowling around your mind! Creepy tale. You evoke the main character not through description but through what it does. Verbs instead of nouns and adjectives. Ann

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