Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Thank you to all Movember Supporters

Like all good things Movember has come to an end. The aim of Movember is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and depression in men. Of the 94 million dollars raised around the world, Australia's share was 22 million dollar, which is outstanding. Our team did an equally great job and raised $468/- for a good cause.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Doodle De Dum

Some times you need to put out meaningless posts and ideas, a doodle de dum moment. You know that point when you think of something silly and have a quite chuckle to yourself - yep that one. So this post is dedicated to that inner sillyness in you, I probably have it in abundance but that is a story for another day.

Like what if someone wanted to start a running of the pitbulls festival - won't that be an epic fail!

In in these Movember times can we forget the classic Movember Rain?

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Movember Rain


It’s Movember and time to focus on men’s health. To show my commitment, I’m donating my face to the cause by growing a moustache for the entire month of November, and need your support. My Mo will spark conversations, and no doubt generate some laughs; all in the name of raising vital awareness and funds for prostate cancer male depression.

Why am I so passionate about men’s health?
*1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime
*This year 20,000 new cases of the disease will be diagnosed
*1 in 8 men will experience depression in their lifetime

I’m asking you to support my Movember campaign by making a donation by either:
*Donating online at:
*Writing a cheque payable to ‘Movember,’ referencing my Registration ID: 1141902 and mailing it to: Movember, PO Box 60, East Melbourne, VIC, 8002

Funds raised will help make a tangible difference to the lives of others. Through the Movember Foundation and its men’s health partners, the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia and beyondblue – the national depression initiative, they are funding world class research, educational and support programs which would otherwise not be possible.

If you’d like to find out more about the type of work you’d be helping to fund by supporting Movember, take a look at the Programs We Fund section on the Movember website:

Thank you in advance for supporting my efforts to change the face of men’s health. All donations over $2 are tax deductible.

Subroto Pant
Please donate at:

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer

Won't anyone stop this man from writing???
Firaq Baiganpuri On Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer

The Chandans portrait, artist and authenticity unconfirmed. National Portaloo Gallery, London.

Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer (English pronunciation: /ˈValee Meeyaa ˈSheiKHpeer/ (US), /ˈ (baptised 26 April 1944; died 23 April 2008) was an Indian poet, playwright and script writer, widely regarded as the worst script writer in any language, having written the maximum number of flop movies and the world record holder as the producer of the maximum number of flop movies and plays. He is often called Bollywood's worst poet - the "Bard of Amway". His surviving works are not many, having mostly been consigned to the dustbins of studios. Sheikhpeer was born and raised in Sant Nagar-upon-Yamuna. At the age of 18, he married movie star Quratulain Haidery, with whom he had three children: Shushila, and twins Hammam and Judwi. Between 1975 and 1982, he began an unsuccessful career in Bombay as an actor, writer, and part owner of a production house called the Laddu Chamberpot's Men, later known as the Kingpisser's Men. He appears to have retired to Sant Nagar around 2005, where he died three years later. Few records of Sheikhpeer's private life survive, and there has been considerable speculation about such matters as his physical appearance, sexuality, Religious beliefs, and whether the works attributed to him were written by others. The other writers have furiously denied these rumors.
Sheikhpeer produced most of his known work between 1979 and 2003. His early plays were mainly comedies and histories, genres he failed to raise to any level of sophistication and artistry even by the end of the twentieth century. He then wrote mainly tragedies until about 1988, including Ham ki Plate, King Leer, and Macburger, considered some of the worst works in any language. In his last phase, he wrote what he thought were tragicomedies, also known as romances, and forced other playwrights to collaborate with him.
Many of his plays were published in editions of varying quality and accuracy during his lifetime (an improved noted by those forced to review his work). In 1973, he paid two of his former theatrical colleagues to publish the First Folio, a collected edition of his dramatic works that included all but two of the plays now recognised as Sheikhpeer's.
Sheikhpeer was never a respected poet and playwright in his own day, but and fortunately his reputation has not risen to any heights. Some Bollywood directors have acclaimed Sheikhpeer's genius under pressure from his criminal elder brother ‘Bhai’, who forced them to repeatedly adopt his work but after suffering severe financial loss ‘Bhai’ refused to meddle with movie making, preferring to make money instead. Which he could have done without as their mother forced him to invest these funds in Sheikhpeer’s work. Sheikhpeer’s plays remain highly unpopular today and are constantly studied, performed and reinterpreted by right-wing leftist Marxist as an example of diverse cultural and political trauma throughout the world.

Background and early life

Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer

Born baptised 26 April 1944 (birth date unknown)
Sant Nagar-upon-Avon, Warwickgaon, India.

Died 23 April 2008 (aged 52)
Sant Nagar-upon-Avon, Warwickgaon, India

Occupation Playwright, poet, actor

Literary movement Urdu Slapstick theatre

Spouse(s) Quratulain Haidery (m. 1948–1988)

Children Shushila Hallabol,
Hamara Sheikhpeer,
Judwi Qatil


Wali Miyan Signature.


Early life

Jumman Sheikhpeer's house, believed to be Sheikhpeer's birthplace, in Sant Nagar-upon-Yamuna.

Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer was the son of Jumman Sheikhpeer, a successful glove maker and elderman originally from Suttakhet, and Mariam Arbaz, the daughter of an affluent landowning farmer. He was born in Sant Nagar-upon-Yamuna and baptised on 26 April 1944. His actual birthdate is unknown, but is traditionally observed on 01 April, All Fools Day. This date, which can be traced back to a twentieth-century scholar's prank, has proved appealing because Sheikhpeer died on 23 April 2008. He was the third child of eight and the eldest surviving son.
Although no attendance records for the period survive, most biographers agree that Sheikhpeer may have been educated at the St Mirchiwale New School in Sant Nagar, a free school chartered in 1903, about a quarter of a mile from his home. Saintly schools varied in quality in Delhi and the school would have provided an intensive education in bad functional grammar and the classics.

At the age of 18, Sheikhpeer married the 26-year-old Quratulain (Annie)Haidery. The marriage licence was issued on 27 November 1962 and lost on 29 November 1962. Two of Haidery's neighbours posted bonds the next day as surety that there were no impediments to the marriage. The couple may have arranged the ceremony in some haste, Annie's pregnancy could have been the reason for this. Six months after the marriage, she gave birth to a daughter, Sushila, who was baptised on 26 May 1963 Twins, son Hamara and daughter Judwi, followed almost two years later and were baptised on 2 February 1965. Hamara died of unknown causes at the age of 11 and was buried on 11 August 1976.
After the birth of the twins, there are few historical traces of Sheikhpeer until he is mentioned as part of the Lucknow theatre scene in 1972. Because of this gap, scholars refer to the years between 1965 and 1972 as Sheikhpeer's "wonderful lost years". Biographers attempting to account for this period have reported many apocryphal stories. Naveen Rothas, Sheikhpeer’s first biographer, recounted a Sant Nagar legend that Sheikhpeer fled the town for Lucknow to escape prosecution for deer poaching (a tactic that other Bollywood stars tried to repeat. Tandoori deers not being a problem). Another story has Sheikhpeer starting his theatrical career minding the cars in the car park of theatre patrons in Lucknow. Jiwan Aubrey reported that Sheikhpeer had been a country schoolmaster. Some twentieth-century scholars have suggested that Sheikhpeer may have been employed as a schoolmaster by Sikandar Hoghton of Lalukhet, a landowner who named a certain "Wali Miyan Shekhoo" in his will. No evidence substantiates such stories other than hearsay collected after his death and the name Shekhoo was common in the Lalukhet area.

Lucknow and theatrical career

"Sub dunia nautanki hai

Aur hum sub khatron kay khiladi

Baki sub hain anadi # 1

Bahut kaam wala aadmi hoon"

Jaisa Aap Ko Accha Lage, Act II, Scene 7, 139–42.[25]


"All the world's a stage

And I am the danger player

the rest are idiot#1

I am a man with lot of work"

Jaisa Aap Ko Accha Lage, Act II, Scene 7, 139–42.[25]

Poster for the super flop Ek Raat Ka Sapna

It is not known exactly when Sheikhpeer began writing, but contemporary allusions and records of performances show that several of his plays were on the Lucknow stage by 1972. He was well enough known in Lucknow by then to be attacked in print by the playwright Ramu Gareen:
...there is an upstart Kauwa (Crow to you anglophiles), beautified with our feathers, supposes he is as well able to rap out a blank verse as the worst of you: and is in his own conceit the only Sheikh-scene in a country…Beware because this lying Crow will peck you with his beak
Scholars differ on the exact meaning of these words, but most agree that Gareen is accusing Sheikhpeer of reaching above his rank in trying to match university-educated writers, such as Mary Marlowe, Coffee Admi and Gareen himself. The pun "Sheikh-scene", identifies Sheikhpeer as Gareen’s target. Noted Bollywood director Raj Kapoor was so inspired by Gareen’s criticism that he turned it into a hit song

"Jhooth bole kauwa kaate

Kaale kauwe say dariyo"

"Beware of the black crow that pecks you"


Never before in the history of literature has a writer produced such consistently bad work

Gareen’s attack is the first recorded mention of Sheikhpeer’s career in the theatre. Biographers have noted that that there were 18820 attacks in print on Sheikhpeer during his career as well as 520001 letters to the editor and 7800 negative reviews of his play. The exception being the Chinese delegation of 1981 which watched a performance of Sheikhpeer's play 'As me like it'. The Xinhua News Agency reported that some of the costumes used in the production were made from Chinese Silk by worker silkworms in the state owned collective and made China proud.

In 1979, a partnership of company members built their own theatre on the south bank of the Yamuna, which they called the Jalebi. Records of Sheikhpeer's property purchases and investments indicate that the company made him a wealthy man while his writing skills went downhill. In 1987, he bought the second-largest house in Sant Nagar, New Place, and in 1995, he invested in a share of the samosa shop in Sant Nagar.


Lone cleaner surveys stage after performance of Wali Miyan's play

"karoon ki na karoon: zindagi ka masla yehi hai"
"To do or not to do: this is the only question in life
Most playwrights of the period typically collaborated with others at some point, and critics agree that Sheikhpeer tried to do the same, all throughout his career. Not many wanted to do so but some attributions, such as Meri Fair Ladice - Ab Hindi May and the early history plays, remain controversial, while The Two Rupees More and the lost Lost have well-attested contemporary documentation. Textual evidence also supports the view that several of the stolen plays were revised by Sheikhpeer and passed as an original composition.
In the mid 80s, Sheikhpeer wrote the so-called "problem plays" ''Maiyyar for Maiyyar in Bhatinda'', ''Trolly for us and Cressida'', and ''All ij Well'' and a number of his least known tragedies. They were called problem plays because it was a problem to put them on, a problem to find actors willing to commit professional harakiri, a problem to say 'no' to his criminal elder brother ‘Bhai’.

"Your eyes are like potatoes,

and your lips like okra:

your cheeks tomatoes;

oye what shall I call thee dear

my love or my grocery..."

As Me Like It, Act II, Scene 7, 139–42.


“I used to love poetry and then I read Sheikhpeer”
~ Veggipie on Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer

In 1983 and 1984, when the theatres were closed because of a strike, Sheikhpeer published two narrative poems, Choli Kay Peeche and Yeh Andar Ki Baat Hai. He dedicated them to the Hosiery Industry. This was the first time an artist (and we use the word loosely here) had attempted to combine Art with a commercial interest until Hussain came along. Both proved unpopular and were often mentioned in random Public Interest Litigations (PIL) filed against Sheikhpeer. Sheikhpeer welcomed these PILs as they provided him with free publicity. Most scholars now accept that Sheikhpeer wrote songs for Govinda’s movies including “Meri Chaddi”.


Sheikhpeer's first plays were written in the conventional style of the day. He wrote them in an over stylised language that does not always spring naturally from the needs of the characters or the drama.

Sheikhpeer's only commercial success - the Lota of health.

Theatregoers reported a need to purge their intestines after watching a performance. This turned out to be his biggest commercial success later on, when many health spas started using Sheikhpeer’s plays as a cleansing technique instead of giving enemas to their clients

This technique releases the new power of tripe and inflexibility of the poetry in plays such as Ham Ki Plate. Sheikhpeer uses it, for example, to convey the turmoil in Ham's mind:

“Zindagi cigarette ka dhuan
Jata hai kahan?”

“Life is a cigarette’s smoke
Where does it go?”



“Charlie voltage baddhao,
electicity jaldee jayegi”

“Charlie increase the voltage,
electricity will go faster”


Actual dialogue from a Bollywood movie attributed to Sheikhpeer

“It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it”

~ Amitabh Bacchan commenting on his refusal to work on a Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer movie
“It's a funny thing about life; failure is a character building exercise”
~ Kishen Kumar commenting on why he acted in a Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer movie

Kagaj Ke Plate

-- This film was a biggest disaster of decade of 90. People said that this was a semi autobiographical film of Guru Halwai, and reflects also the Guru Halwai's liking of a veggie burger. Film was much ahead of its time, another flop like this would'nt be made till 2005. After its commercial failure Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer wrote more screen plays while Guru Halwai took a MacDonald franchise .

Patang the Kite

-- We barely get to see the actors in this movie. After 90 minutes of watching kites fly the camera pans to the actor flying a kite. By that time the audience had walked away presumably to fly a kite. Patang the Kite was never expected to be a huge summer blockbuster. But the scale of its failure has now made it to business schools. The kite sellers reported good business for that year.

Bhajia Sultan

-- Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer is said to spend five long years in writing script of this movie and the director Khatmal Amrohi spent lavishly over the sets, costumes, starcasts, and stunts. By watching this movie one could barely see any hard work done on it. Film has nice shots of the Halidiram bhajiyya factory and the pairing of Garam Dharma and Hema Nalini, bad music by some unknown director. The biggest reason of failing this film was the timing of release. Had this film released one or two decades earlier this could be a Huge Success as people were willing to watch anything. Nobody was interested in watching period Drama written by Sheikhpeer.


The poster for MacBhoot

The movie adaption of the play by Wali Miyan Sheikhpeer. It is the longest and least compressed of Sheikhpeer's tragedies, a total lack ambition incites MacBhoot and his wife, Ladice MacBhoot, to do absolutely nothing, until their own inptitude brings rewards. In this play, Sheikhpeer adds a supernatural element to the tragic structure.

Critical reputation

Audience at the performance of one of Sheikhpeer's tragedies

Sheikhpeer was not revered in his lifetime, but he received his share of praise. Mostly from his his mother who thought he was very talented.
In 1968, the critic and author Nirad Chaudhuri singled him out from a group of writers as "the least talented writer in the past 50 years " in both comedy and tragedy. As he said "I would also set down, as a matter of moral obligation, that I consider Sheikhpeer to be the only Indian writer who should never have a permanent place in English literature with books on Indian themes, and who will also be read by everyone who wants to know how a book should never be written."

Friday, May 13, 2011

Viral Signs

The day after the video of Sam K's antics went viral on the Internet; he was lying in his bedroom with the curtains drawn trying to keep his eyes shut tightly as possible. The throbbing pain in his head was a vigorous reminder of the many shots of tequila drowned at the office party the night before, not that he remembered anything else that may have happened.

Sam K - aka Samir Kapadia - big time nerd and small time everything else. Not a great communicator unless you spoke Java/C#/C++ and a few other programming languages that he was fluent in. OK, yes, no and head wag sufficed for anything else. Not the ideal candidate for hogging news headlines by any stretch of imagination.

Before the YouTube incident, Sam's career path had progressed to the point where he was assigned the role of a Project Architect for the first time. It was a prestigious project for a major health services provider. The work was challenging and it was the opportunity that he had been waiting. If done correctly it would demonstrate that he was capable of handling such projects and be the stepping stone on the pathway of success.

Sam had considered himself to be fortunate that the project timeline was for three months. His belief was that "This is a three month project and we're going to achieve success in 3 months. We're going to see the system in production in 3 months."

Initially the project had been progressing smoothly but then a month into the project timeline the changes started to happen and they were the dreaded bugbear of imprecise or changing business requirements.

The senior management at client site met Sam's account manager - Jason- to negotiate further contracts for the firm and casually gave a list of changes that they felt would make the system function better. Soon enough Jason contacted the project manager - Rob - and asked him to accommodate the changes in order to facilitate future business. All of that meant that the last minute changes in the business requirements were now making their way towards Sam.

From: Rob Morgan
Subject: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

Hey Sam,
The client's given us a few changes to look at. Jason has communicated his desire of pushing them in the next release, as he put it - 'If we make the client happy, they will look after us'. Apparently senior management is very keen for these changes to go through.


"Maybe we should give the client a massage. That will make them happy", grumbled Sam to himself. He was well aware that business was well within their rights to ask for changes. Well thought changes added that excitement to a project, but the down side was the hasty, unplanned change requests that added to a project's scope creep. This was definitely one of them and had to be shot down as soon as possible.

From: Sam Kapadia
Subject: RE: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

Hi Rob,

What is this? I don't think that the business requirements are being clearly articulated; we need lot more information than a verbal request. Plus they do know that this will impact the project timelines, don't they? I don't see how we can roll these out in this release.


Damn this project, thought Sam, it was supposed to be his great big opportunity and just when he thought he had everything under control the enemy artillery aka major change request started firing. The increased working hours had meant that he was seeing a lot less of his girlfriend Anna than he wanted to. All work and no play were making Sam an extremely dull boy. Plus Anna was driving him crazy these days with her demands for communication. And communication for Anna meant that she had to talk to him face-to-face. E-mail, Sam had told her, is a wonderful invention and not just for receiving messages from Rev Peter Paul Thomas of Nigeria wanting to give you a million dollars. SMS is an option too, they are even rewriting Shakespeare using SMS text format. But emails and SMSs were not for Anna. She needed direct verbal communication with no other distractions. This meant no watching TV while she was talking. Work could be set aside while they had their time together, even when Sam had a deadline to meet. She might not have cared about design patterns in C Sharp or the beauty of object-oriented programming and unlike her Sam had no interest in literature, but they adored each other's company. Sam was reminded of what he had once read in an online relationship column 'diversity is an asset in relationships; you won't get bored with each other'.

From: Rob Morgan
Subject: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

How many more resources would you need for this change to go through?
Ruby I need you to go through the HR's database for a list of additional developers.

Ruby Ross was responsible for finding the right resource for each project and Rob was intent on using her to increase the size of the team.

"Maybe I should tell him that we will work overtime", thought Sam, "Hey Rob, if people work more hours, they can get more work done in the same amount of calendar time. Overtime may be the best option if you’re close to the end of the project and just need a final push to get everything done on schedule. And probably sleep less if possible, just to get more hours in a day."

Sam's mobile vibrated, probably a message from Rob trying to contact him, but Sam decided to ignore it. He had a message of his own for Rob that needed to be sent.

From: Sam Kapadia
Subject: RE: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

Hi Rob,
The biggest issue that we are facing is that the business requirements not being clearly articulated and agreed to at the outset of this project. We've had a number of discussions related to this and I am sure in the post project appraisal, the auditors are bound to bring it up. Now I hear you telling me to 'push changes' in the next release. How do we plan for this deviation in terms of schedule, cost, performance, or scope of work?


"Now that", pondered Sam "will make him think, which will give me time to work without further interference". He quickly glanced at his mobile and was stunned to see a message from Anna. Her mobile was a gift from him, he had made her take it by explaining that while she did not have to use it every day, it would be handy if she had an emergency like the car breaking down when coming from work or if she ever ran out of coffee and needed him to get some. She never used it so it must be important that she was sending a message.

From Anna
To Sam: Sam r u coming home this wk? Or will it b like last wk? We need to talk.

Late nights working at this project meant that recently they hardly interacted nowadays. By the time he got home it was already way past dinner time. Anna would have eaten by then so he ate alone, sometimes he carried on working on his laptop and on some days he was so tired that he went to sleep straightaway.

From Sam
To Anna: Sorry wrking la8. Will make it up 2 u.

Before he had a chance to ponder on the significance of the message, there was another email from Jason to be looked at. The man was persistent if nothing else.

From: Jason Groot
Subject: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

Hi Sam,
Really appreciate the work you have been putting into this project. Can't say that you work has gone unnoticed. I need you to make a few changes to your design and push through the changes the client is asking for, we feel that they add value to the project.

So Jason was going through the underhand route now thought Sam. It was the kind of sneaky attempt that he had been expecting, throw in a few compliments and try to push in a few changes. There was no way that he was going to let this happen.

From: Sam Kapadia []
Subject: Re: Change to product requirements (mtt-01/3439)

Hi Jason,
Can you get them to put the change requests in and then we work through the change control procedure.

Change control had its uses thought Sam, especially in this organization where it was a process gleaned from books implemented by overpriced consultants to help streamline technology-related change. It could take days before anything tangible happened and that would give him enough time to do things the way he wanted them.

The rest of that day went on with a continuous stream of messages and meetings to attend. As usual he was the last to leave work, long after the cleaners had gone. But that night turned out a lot different from the others. When he reached home there was no one inside and all of Anna's belongings had been moved out of their apartment. It was as if he stayed alone in a bachelor's pad. Stuck to the fridge was a post-it note from Anna. He took it down and read it.

I am going away for a while Sam. I have been thinking about it a lot in the past month or so. The time I had alone allowed me to do that. Maybe it's not just about me or you or us. I have thought about the way we could have made this work and I was hoping and praying that it would never come to this. Nothing lasts forever, we make mistakes and lose people that we love but I never thought that would happen to us. Will I come back? That remains entirely up to you and your work commitment.

Sam dropped the note, he wasn't sure what to make of it. A part of him was hopeful but a gnawing feeling that told him that maybe it was all over. "I am so self absorbed," he thought, "that I could not see it coming. That I neglected her for so long, taking her presence for granted."

For all his intentions at attempting a reconciliation Sam's workload over the next few months ensured that he had no time away from work. Managing the client's expectation and fighting with the account managers to retain his team kept him on his toes. His email inbox once had an old Internet joke about customers who demand the universe gift-wrapped and delivered yesterday but this time instead of laughing he found himself nodding in agreement. The hard work by his team had ensured that they did not have to face deadline-imposed project fiascoes.

And so it happened that after managing different industrial awards and multiple industrial agreements they were able to deliver on time. It was finally time for a celebratory function for the team. Jason had organized drinks for the all people who had worked on the project as well as the team from the client side and the senior managers. The event was hosted at the restaurant where the company decided they would have dinner. To enliven things up the function was Wild West themed one, each person was handed over a huge cowboy hat as they walked in. There was a big bar in the restaurant moment where the very outgoing bartender, was greeting each person with a cold, strong drink of orange juice and vodka and there were soft drinks for those who did not imbibe. Immediately, the drinks started flowing and meeting each other in a lighter setting was making everyone relax. Suddenly Sam wished that Anna was with him. He took out his phone and texted her.

From Sam
To Anna: Need to talk 2 u. Can we meet?

Maybe she had forgiven him by now, maybe she was missing him too. His phone was beeping, there was a reply from Anna.

From Anna
To Sam: Not today Sam and maybe not ever.

He was stunned by the reply, the fact that that they would never meet had not occurred to him. To him it was another obstacle that he was sure he would overcome. Another trick bit of code that he would find a solution to because that's what he did - resolved tricky bits, no matter how long it took. Sam did not remember how many drinks he had after the reading the text but when the
Karaoke machine was setup with the live band and backing vocals, he found himself gravitating near the stage.
“Sam, Sam, we want Sam”, went the cry.
As far as musical abilities went he lacked the singing gene, his DNA was missing the genetic instructions for musical ability. It probably contained the DNA sequence for toneless intonations, yep it would be safe to say that Sam was not a singer. But in his mind right now he was the star. He stepped up, picked up the microphone and faced his audience.
“Ladies and gentlemen my girlfriend Anna has left me. But I love her and I want her back. So Anna I am singing this for you.“
And with that he sunk on one knee and started his rendition of the hit by KC and the Sunshine Band “Please don’t go”
“Babe, I love you so
I want you to know
that I'm going to miss your love
the minute you walk out that door

so please don't go…..”

He was awful. But incredibly some people stayed and watched, including those whose mobile phones were video recording the whole song. As a friend later told him “I’ve never heard anything that bad in my life. But you know while you might not make a fan out of every spectator, but there was something compelling to watch. It was like you were impossible to ignore onstage in a twisted, demented sort of way”.

It was around four in the morning when Samir staggered home and managed to collapse on his bed. How he had accomplished that was something that he was never able to figure out. But while he was sleeping at home, the love song of Samir Kapadia was already up on Youtube and gathering page hits. Social commentators have often wondered 'what is the numerical indicator of a YouTube hit'. While exact figure have not been agreed on there is a broad agreement on certain numbers. So 10 million hits, means that the video is probably worth looking at. At the 50 million hits count its on the way to becoming a phenomenon. But even with those numbers, it may be just a one-trick show pony.

If it gets 90 million hits, and has back-up videos made by fans that get millions of hits, it is a social phenomenon. Then something fundamental is going on. The challenge is to figure out what and then prove it. Good luck on that because how do you prove the attraction of a badly sung song by a semi-drunk love sick nerd? After all one of the top YouTube hits is A Man So Drunk In Restaurant That He Eats His Own Napkin.

But Sam had no idea of his growing online fame. He didn't know about his expanding fame in the twitterverse. Jimmy Kimmel was going to feature Sam's song on his show. Sam heard the noise of a door opening but it sounded like heavy metal band playing next to him. There was light streaming in his room causing him to wince and before he knew it someone had flung them self on him.
"Sam", said voice that sounded like Anna.
"Sam you crazy, crazy boy. Why didn't you tell me that you missed me so?"
The heavy metal drummer in Sam's head was pounding the crash cymbal but he did not care about the noise anymore. Life was about to get better again.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Gnome Shanti

News Item: UK Box Office Report: Gnomeo and Juliet Heads a Record-Breaking Week

Buoyed by the success of the animated movie Gnomeo and Juliet, which is based on the idea of retelling Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet" with red and blue British garden gnomes as the feuding families, reports are now emerging of rival filmmakers planning spin-offs to cash in on the idea.

Fans of Aussie soaps will be glad to learn that TV studios are excited by idea of a daytime soap ‘Gnome and Away’ set in the Summer Bay Gnome Park.

The producers of Simpsons have announced plans to have a Gnome version featuring Gnomer Simpson.

For the followers of Westerns the news is that the talks for production of Gnome Ranger TV serials and movies are on right now. These might feature the song ‘Gnome on the Range’.

The Discovery Channel will be showing a special program on Ancient Gnome.

For music lovers the news is that David Cassidy has announced plans to release his new album ‘Gnome is Where the Heart Is’ to cash in on the current trend.

After all this can Bollywood be left far behind? Sharukh Khan has been approached to act as the voice of Gnome Makhija on the animated movie ‘Gnome Shanti Gnome’.

In financial markets with Gnomes being such a hot property, all major banks are fighting for a piece of the Gnome Loan market.

Gnomes are in right now, Gnome what I am saying?