Wednesday, January 24, 2018

The Hollow Edifice

Copyright Sandra Crook

So if I was to write
Lines separated
By random
Carriage returns
Throw in some nebulous
Sentiments
Talk about
Feelings
Mumbling about ideology
Plight of refugees
Racism and sexism
 Would you berate me?
About my blatant violation
Of the rules of poetry
Or be embarrassed
To admit
That
This
Is
Junk
A hollow core
With a crumbling edifice
Because for all you know
This could be the latest trend
And being one of the
Literati
You wouldn’t want to
Step out of the circle
You would talk
Of the yearning desire
Emotions felt
As nobody
Wants
To be a critic


**
Written for Friday Fictioneers Word Count : 100.

Ok I've a silly entry in this week, maybe I'll grow up and write something more serious later ;-)                                                                                                                                                                       
I've been listening to great songs from the seventies recently and I've got obsessed with this song.  I have vague recollection of hearing this group as a child but now I can't seem to stop listening.

To explore with the other writers this week click here      



26 comments :

  1. Ha ha ha. What a quirky, whimsical poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For your comments Anurag
      I am pleased to say
      Thanks

      Delete
  2. Nice bit of social commentary there. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sandra
      For everything there is a season
      Tis the one for social reason

      Delete
  3. I don't think that was silly - it flowed beautifully and I enjoyed reading it!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree with Susan - it's a fluent, interesting poem. You constructed it with more art than you're admitting to!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Penny your words
      Makes the heart sing

      Delete
  5. Seems like this is the latest trend, I best start writing like this...or have I missed the point ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Trends
      Disappear
      Iain
      But your comments
      Remain

      Delete
  6. I'm not one for poetry but I certainly enjoyed this one :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nope. I'm happy to be a critic. :)

    Alan Parson's Project was one of the first recording artists I ever purchased. Turn of a Friendly Card.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome dear critic
      Your words are
      Too kind

      Delete
  8. methinks you just earned the most creative take on the prompt this week. well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plaridel
      All I have
      Is a word
      Thanks

      Delete
  9. Dear Subroto,

    I love this piece. No matter if it follows rules or not. Wonderful!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Rochelle
      Some rules are
      Meant to be
      Broken

      Delete
  10. What are rules? Consider them guidelines... ;-)
    I really enjoyed this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Throw out
      The rules
      Glad you enjoyed

      Delete
  11. Anonymous1:05 am

    An unusual take and a lovely poem.
    Love the last few lines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YS
      Unusual takes
      Sometime makes
      It fun

      Delete
  12. What a wonderful response to the prompt. Well structured poem and so true. There are few risk takers in life (or at least in critiquing.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No risk
      No gain
      Thanks Irene
      For the words
      So kind

      Delete
  13. I think that to be a critic you have to be able to give a reason... writing outside the lines is perfect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Björn
      Sometimes the heart
      Rules
      Over reason

      Delete