Thursday, April 09, 2015

The Train Spotter

PHOTO PROMPT – © Jennifer Pendergast

I was sixteen when my father’s cousin found a job for me in the city.  The prospect of earning money alleviated my parents’ misgivings.  The train travelled through a lawless area where armed bandits frequently robbed passengers at gun point.

I boarded the train with money strapped to my chest.  Ferocious looking men boarded my carriage and sat beside me.  Scared witless I kept awake the next eighteen hours maintaining eye contact.


As the trained reached my destination, the meanest looking man smiled and said, “Thank God we reached safely.  We were worried that you were a spotter for bandits”.

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Written for the Friday Fictioneers  Word Count : 100

20 comments :

  1. Anonymous7:36 am

    The assumptions we make.....Nice captured in the story.

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  2. So clever! Liked that.

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting Sandra.

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  3. Anonymous4:21 am

    Great ending!

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    1. Thank you Rachel I am glad that worked.

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  4. Dear Subroto,

    Clever storytelling that. You made me laugh out loud.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle for those comments, I glad it worked for you.

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  5. That sounds like a terrible trip. Clever ending - I didn't see it coming.

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    1. Thanks Margaret I was aiming for that effect, I am glad it worked.

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  6. Anonymous8:04 am

    Dear Subroto, Such a good story - I didn't expect the ending either. You are very clever! Nan :)

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    1. Thanks Nan you are too kind :-)

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  7. Sounds like both parties were a little judgmental. Appearances can often be misleading. Great story telling, Subroto.

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    1. That's true, we shouldn't judge people on how they look. Thanks for reading and commenting Russell.

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  8. Anonymous7:07 am

    Very clever, everyone is looking over their shoulder - back then as now, I fear.

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    1. A nature of the times we live in. Thanks for reading and commenting Jen.

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  9. Good story and great twist at the end, Subroto. Good tension. Well done. :) --- Suzanne

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    1. Thanks Suzanne, glad you liked it.

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