Thursday, April 23, 2015

Seeking Stars

PHOTO PROMPT – © Douglas M. MacIlroy
After the snowstorm I stepped out under the pink hued sky.  The land was shrouded under a blanket of white, a place where only dedicated star gazers live. 

“Daddy is Grandma a star in the sky now?”

At night we huddle around telescopes staring at the night sky.

“Daddy do you think I too will be a star one day?”

I ran away from the city when the silence drove a wedge between her mother and me. Homing in on celestial lights I discover stars, nebulas, a cluster and even cold distant galaxies at the far reaches of the universe.

***
Written for the Friday Fictioneers  Word Count : 100

In memory of my parents whose 53rd anniversary would have been tomorrow.

The Friday Fictioneers stars themselves have been adding to the galaxy of stories.

I've been writing this while listening to some wonderful music which I must share with you.

24 comments :


  1. “Daddy do you think I too will be a star one day?”
    My favorite line!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dawn I am glad you liked it.

      Delete
  2. I'm sure it must be easier to lose oneself in the cold and distant galaxies than the cold and distant people near us. Well done story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he finds a connection with the stars that is missing in his life. Thanks for reading and commenting Ansumani.

      Delete
  3. Wonderful - love how you used the vast space as a metaphor for the coldness in relationships.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comments Björn, he seeks a connection in the stars for what he misses in his life.

      Delete
  4. Effective metaphor. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sandra, glad you liked it.

      Delete
  5. Dear Subroto,

    The child's voice adds so much to this. You've done a nice job of layering a story between the lines.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for those words of appreciation Rochelle.

      Delete
  6. I could fee a chill and a touch of sadness in this piece. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Russell I am glad it touched you.

      Delete
  7. I hope he doesn't forget his little warm-blooded star amont all the galaxies out there. Great story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that is the star he seeks. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Delete
  8. So sad that he seems to be as cold to his daughter as he was to his wife. She asks, but he doesn't answer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe he cannot contact the daughter and seeks her in the stars. Thanks for reading and commenting Alice.

      Delete
  9. great story. everything fits together, every word thought out carefully.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Plaridel for those words. I am glad you liked the story.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Thanks Rosy, I am glad you liked it.

      Delete
  11. Nice use of metaphor. Will the stars be enough to fill his real life? I hope that I'm a star in the sky someday. I think it's a beautiful thought!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He seeks stars to fill a void but that's never enough. Thanks for reading and commenting Amy.

      Delete
  12. This brought tears to my eyes, may we all find our loved ones in our intergalactic travels.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lore I think you got the essence of his search.

      Delete