Saturday, October 25, 2014

What Lies Beneath

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright- The Reclining Gentleman

The hollow nasal honking of the swans snapped him out of his reverie.   The greedy birds were swimming to the shore in anticipation of a feed.  The calm surface of the lake hid its secrets well.

 What lies beneath?  Still waters run deep and in his seemingly placid life there were clandestine meetings, masked desires and dark motivations.

The man next to him was talking, “True fact Swans mate for life though sometimes ‘divorce’ does occur after nesting failure.”

A diver broke though the water and flashed a ‘thumbs up’ sign.


“Shall we talk now sir or at the station?”

***

Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100


26 comments :

  1. Anonymous8:20 am

    I wondered where you were going with that title - nicely done. The calm, everyday conversation, distracts the reader perfectly from the diver's grisly find below

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    1. Thanks Sarah. I was trying for the effect of placid surface and raging current beneath.

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  2. Anonymous9:52 am

    Took me a second read to work out what was going on, but I like it. Something bad beneath the lake...
    Claire

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    1. Thanks Claire, the lake can hide many secrets, it's up to us to find them.

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  3. Very well written. This is called a perfect example of fictitious story, Am so glad to have this on Internet. Loved this one. Bookmarked your web, waiting for the next one.

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    1. Thanks, I'll let this one through then ;-)

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  4. Fantastic interplay between the surface of things and that which lies hidden beneath - lake and characters alike. I love your use of the swans as an opening device, and the small thumbs-up gesture and snappy dialogue to close. Just great.
    Marg

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    1. Thanks Marge for those word of appreciation.

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  5. Anonymous5:32 pm

    uh-oh.
    Busted.

    Randy

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    1. Does look it it. Coming soon the unravelling. Thanks for your comments Randy.

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  6. Dear Subroto,

    I guess still waters didn't run deep enough. Interesting that we both used "swan divorce" in our stories with totally different outcomes. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle I am glad you liked it. And yes we did use the same swan fact, but you know great minds and all that jazz.

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  7. That was one kind of surprising... I can only guess that there are alternatives to divorce

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    1. And it looks like his 'alternative' method has been caught out. Thanks for reading and commenting Björn.

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  8. Good job on this. I didn't known where it was going and you gave it a neat twist at the end.

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    1. Thank you Anna, I am glad you liked it.

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  9. Anonymous8:56 pm

    Dear Subroto, What a great story! Very well written and interesting. Love the still waters reference and the thumbs up at the end. Just magnificent! Nan :)

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    1. Thank you Nan for those words of praise. I am glad you enjoyed it.

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  10. Anonymous2:57 am

    Oh, clever story, Subroto. I love the suggestion of the swan fact. The water's didn't hide their secret quite well enough, it seems.

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    1. Thanks Karen I am glad you liked it.

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  11. Subroto, Oh well. There are too many cell phone cameras, etc around these days to get away with much. He might also have been a suspect and was being watched. It would have been far better if he'd divorced her. Well written. :) --- Susan

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    1. Thanks Susan. He will be swanning around in the prison cell now.

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  12. Great 100 word story. You packed it all in there. Especially loved the closing. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Russell I am glad you liked it.

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  13. Great story, The big blue mixed with grisly finds. Well done.

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    1. Thanks LHN, I am glad you liked it.

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