Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Tooth and Wisdom

 Copyright-Ted Strutz
I shivered as a gust of cold air blew in through the latticed window.  Outside the dark clouds rolled in like a black sheet on the horizon.  I could see people scurrying for cover in the street.  In this town by the lake the weather can change within minutes. 

The clouds burst open upon the stragglers and rain whipped their faces.  And the wind howled from ever-changing directions.

A malodourous stench announced my patient.  Of all the dental shops, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine.


“Count Dracula just in time for your dental checkup”.


**

Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100  And with a passing nod to Rick
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21 comments :

  1. Anonymous11:12 am

    I like the weather that brings the Count - nice description there. The pov switch (He ... mine) was a bit disconcerting, but could be easily fixed by changing the whole thing to first person (I shivered... etc).

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    1. Subroto2:34 pm

      Thanks for your feedback Jen. I was in a hurry to submit this time but have changed the pov to first person now.

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  2. Anonymous7:58 pm

    Whoa! Dracula! Nice twist. Alicia Jamtaas

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    1. Subroto5:29 am

      Well there is a reason as to why Count Dracula's fangs look so good after all these centuries. Thanks for reading and commenting Alicia.

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  3. P.S. Joshi5:00 am

    Subroto. Hilarious story. : ) You set the scene and in walked the Count. I especially liked that part that began, "Of all the dental shops..." I can just hear Humphrey Bogart saying that. Well written. : ) ---Susan

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    1. Subroto5:52 am

      Thanks Susan glad you liked it. An unknown factoid is that Rick Blaine became a dentist after leaving Casablanca.

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    2. P.S. Joshi2:55 am

      Thanks Subroto. That's something else for me to jot down in my book of unknown factoids. : ) ---Susan

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  4. brudberg1:00 pm

    Ha.. yes I would guess that shady count would need some dental work every now and then.. I hope the dentist was well prepared with a supply of holy water and garlic

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    1. Subroto5:44 pm

      Thanks for reading Björn, that's a great idea, garlic instead of Novocaine for the Count.

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  5. Douglas MacIlroy2:57 am

    Dear Subroto,

    A delightful tale. Yes, we were receiving the same wavelength from that photo prompt. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    1. Subroto7:47 am

      Thanks Doug, glad you liked it. Now the tooth is out there.

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  6. Siobhan4:29 am

    Dracula certainly makes a dramatic entrance! Clever and enjoyable take on the prompt :)

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    1. Subroto7:49 am

      Thanks Siobhan. Tooth be told I think the Count is a bit of a Drama Queen.

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  7. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields2:56 am

    Dear Subroto,

    Here's looking at you, Kid. At least Count D cares about those teeth. Fangtastic.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Subroto5:31 pm

      Thanks Rochelle. I think the Dentist stays because it's worth all this. And arranging those implements is good Fangshui :-)

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  8. Unknown6:34 am

    Ain't that the darn tooth! Good take.

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    1. Subroto6:01 pm

      Thanks Patrick, it's the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

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  9. Anonymous7:54 pm

    What was the dentist's reaction? That's what I'd like to know...

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    1. Subroto9:58 pm

      I think he is condemned to be his dentist for eternity. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  10. Anonymous12:54 am

    Wonderful weather description - I could see the storm brewing. With this much forewarning I expect your dentist to be closed next time Dracula comes to call :-)

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    1. Subroto2:46 am

      Thanks for reading and commenting Sarah. Once the Count chooses you it's bad Fang Shui to shun him.

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