Copyright-Ted Strutz |
The clouds burst open
upon the stragglers and rain whipped their faces. And the wind howled from ever-changing
directions.
A malodourous stench
announced my patient. Of all the dental shops, in all the towns, in all the world, he
walks into mine.
“Count Dracula just in time for your dental
checkup”.
Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100 And with a passing nod to Rick
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Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100 And with a passing nod to Rick
I like the weather that brings the Count - nice description there. The pov switch (He ... mine) was a bit disconcerting, but could be easily fixed by changing the whole thing to first person (I shivered... etc).
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback Jen. I was in a hurry to submit this time but have changed the pov to first person now.
DeleteWhoa! Dracula! Nice twist. Alicia Jamtaas
ReplyDeleteWell there is a reason as to why Count Dracula's fangs look so good after all these centuries. Thanks for reading and commenting Alicia.
DeleteSubroto. Hilarious story. : ) You set the scene and in walked the Count. I especially liked that part that began, "Of all the dental shops..." I can just hear Humphrey Bogart saying that. Well written. : ) ---Susan
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan glad you liked it. An unknown factoid is that Rick Blaine became a dentist after leaving Casablanca.
DeleteThanks Subroto. That's something else for me to jot down in my book of unknown factoids. : ) ---Susan
DeleteHa.. yes I would guess that shady count would need some dental work every now and then.. I hope the dentist was well prepared with a supply of holy water and garlic
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading Björn, that's a great idea, garlic instead of Novocaine for the Count.
DeleteDear Subroto,
ReplyDeleteA delightful tale. Yes, we were receiving the same wavelength from that photo prompt. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug, glad you liked it. Now the tooth is out there.
DeleteDracula certainly makes a dramatic entrance! Clever and enjoyable take on the prompt :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Siobhan. Tooth be told I think the Count is a bit of a Drama Queen.
DeleteDear Subroto,
ReplyDeleteHere's looking at you, Kid. At least Count D cares about those teeth. Fangtastic.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle. I think the Dentist stays because it's worth all this. And arranging those implements is good Fangshui :-)
DeleteAin't that the darn tooth! Good take.
ReplyDeleteThanks Patrick, it's the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
DeleteWhat was the dentist's reaction? That's what I'd like to know...
ReplyDeleteI think he is condemned to be his dentist for eternity. Thanks for reading and commenting.
DeleteWonderful weather description - I could see the storm brewing. With this much forewarning I expect your dentist to be closed next time Dracula comes to call :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting Sarah. Once the Count chooses you it's bad Fang Shui to shun him.
Delete